Dil mein teri yaadein liye main chal to raha hoon,
Zindagi se kuch door nikal to raha hoon.

Kya anjaam hoga mere dard ka pata nahi,
Tujhe dard na ho khwaish hai yahi.
Neend hi nahi hai in aankhon mein,
Khwab kahan honge.
Yaadein hain bas,
Teri aur us waqt ki.
Yaadon mein itne uljhe hain ki khwaabon ke liye phursat hi kahan.

Log maut se darte hain,
Hum zindagi se pareshan.
Kya hoga anjaam is dard ka pata nahi,
Dil tadap raha hai, par kehta hai teri khata nahi.
To feel life, to know what it is,
You need to be around it, and yet not be in it.
Kya hua hai, samajhne ki koshish kar rahe hain. 
Dil tadap raha hai, us se bachne ki koshish kar rahe hain.

Rhythm of Love causing pain

The rhythm of love,
Playing on my heart beat.
With you around,
It would have been a treat.

With you gone,
it's causing me pain.
And I can't fight it,
all my energy stands drained.

I'm waiting for you to come,
And save my life.
I want you to come,
And be my wife.
Jin zakhmon ko waqt bhar chala tha,
Koi aake unhe aisa ched gaya.
Jaan chod gaya,
Zindagi le gaya.
When it hurts i can vent my pain in humor. But sometimes it hurts so much that even humor doesn't help.
Ek dard sa hai dil mein,
Aur badhta ja raha hai.
Uski muskurahat ki yaad mein,
Jalta Ja raha hai.
Uski yaadon mein gum tha,
Dil ke tukdon ko kisi tarah sambhale.
Na jaane kab koi aaya,
Aur tukde bikher diye saare.
Kamre mein hoon
Akela hoon
Tujhse baate kar raha hoon.

Samajh nahi aa raha
Zyaada ji raha hoon
Yaan zyaada mar raha hoon.

The Second Accident

What is the problem with love? Why is it after my life?

After almost a decade I was coming close to getting out of the dungeons. 10 long years, very long years. The pain had just started to subside. I had just started to think about the life that lay ahead and what I wanted to do with it. I had just taken the first step to it.

And, on that very road that was supposed to lead me out of the misery, I bumped into it. Yet again. Love! And, this time it is worse. So, for two reasons: first, its getting physical and second, my brain doesn't support me.

It is getting physical. Her smile makes me feel good. Makes me want to do something to make sure she continues to smile. And, it is killing me physically. Yes, it is. The smallest acts of her, ex: ignoring me, results in actual, physical heart ache. And, while I try to be close to her and make her happy, she is making all possible attempts to move away.

My brain does not support me. It knows that the heart is desperate. Desperate to fill a void, that cannot be filled. Therefore, falling for someone who doesn't even meet the basic requirements of my taste. There's lack of intellectual ability, lack of class, and more importantly, there's a lack of any interest in me.

The only thing that makes her worth loving - she has a heart. I've felt the warmth of that heart. And, its absence is what is hurting me now. The world that was all warm and sanguine sometime back has become cold. More cold than it has ever been.

In a world where most people consider themselves to be the master of the subject called love, there are souls who can't find a person who can provide basic human warmth. Isn't it funny. Isn't it ridiculous. All that I need (and quite badly) is someone with a heart I can bond with.

A reason - the absence of it has been the difference between me being alive and dead. A reason to not live. And, it seems that the reason is on its way. 
While it isn't easy at all to let go of your past, at times it is the most prudent thing to do. But you can't do thing until your heart permits you to. And, unfortunately, the heart is the most corrupt of everything living on this planet. As also, the cause behind all corruption.


In this situation there is little that you can do but to wait for a time when your heart is weak. And, when the time comes just take control
On that Sunday morning Ray was meant to be there. By the porch, feeding the pigeons. Away from the lugubrious city. Who had thought that a city like Las Vegas could look like this! Silent, mournful, shaken. This is what the death of a true leader can do. And probably only the death of a true leader can.

Ray, a former 'freelance fighter', 37 years old, a loner.

----

It is not very easy to weave a web of words. It is difficult to use it to generate fervour in the public. It is impossible to get the public to do something with the only motivation being morality. Jeet had that ability.

---

Not for a moment the impossibility of the act passed through my mind. This was about her life. The impossible had to be made possible.
yun to main chal bhi deta,
tere aansuon se bekhabar.

par dhadkanon ki bewafai thi aisi,
tham gayeen us waqt waheen.

gira tha mein, batlaya gaya hai mujhe,
utha tha mein, daras hue the allah ke,
in nasamjhon ko kaise samjhayen

khel hai zubaani,
mohabbat ko bayaan karne ka,
bewafa zubaan thi meri,
haan ko na keh diya.

yun to main chal bhi deta,
tere aansuon se bekhabar.

Wo waqt

wo waqt hamne ab dekha hai teri aankhon mein,
jiske baare mein padha hai bahut kitabon mein,
wo sisakti saansen, wo aansoo,
jinki aawazein sunaai deti hain teri baaton mein,

pal bhar ko hum ruk hi jaate,
or sochte allah ki marzi ka manzar,
tere us kaanpte haath pe agar,
na aaya hota us vaishi kaatil ka khoon nazar.

wo waqt hamne ab dekha hai teri aankhon mein,
jiske baare mein padha hai bahut kitabon mein,

duniya ki nazrein kaise dekhengi use,
wo to sookh gaya, mit gaya, fanaah hogaya,
duniya to hai insaani haivaaniyat ke
har katl-e-aam, har zulm se bekhabar.

wo waqt hamne ab dekha hai teri aankhon mein,
jiske baare mein padha hai bahut kitabon mein,
ye hua kya hum kaise batayein,
ye hua kyun hum samajh na paye.

har baat teri zubaan se guzarti...