Look into my eyes - Part III

About three months later I received the news that Anita was dead. She was found murdered and Kris was being charged with it.

The prosecution, hired by Ron had asked me to be summoned to the court to give a statement about Anita's character as I was both a colleague and a friend. The police thought it was suicide, but Ron intended to prove otherwise. Was I? What did they think I'll say about her?

"Your honour", I started,"when I first met Anita, she came across as a beautiful, vivacious lady who charmed
everyone with her warm smile. Someone whose love for her husband was of inexplicible depth." I looked at Ron, he sat there, silent.

"The last I met her was three months back", Ron looked at me, surprised. Obviously, she hadn't told him.

"She was with Kris", he looked at me, with a pleading look in his eyes. He perhaps thought I was lying, probably convinced by Ron to implicate him.

"Your honour", I said, "Ron murdered Anita". There was a deafening silence in the court.

"I do not know whether this is a suicide or a murder. But she was already dead when I met her. She had been betrayed by the person whom she had loved more than anyone."

"He had used her as a mere tool to divert the attention of his partner so that he could play around with the accounts and steal some money." Ron tried to run, but the police grabbed him.

"Initially she had played along, to help the person she loved so much. But somewhere in the process, she realised that she had been exploited, that he didn't feel for her. She came to know about his plans to use her in a similar manner in the future. But it was too late. She couldn't get out."

"In fact, she could. I told her I would take care of her, I told her I'll help her in every way possible. But she wouldn't. She was living day after day in pain, and somewhere in all this, she had already died." The silence in the court had turned into whispers.

I broke down, the judge had started announcing the sentence as Ron had accepted the crime. But, my mind was in a different world.

I saw her face in the clouds outside. "Look into my eyes", I said, with a smile on my face and tears in my eyes.


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Look into my eyes - Part II

"Who was he?", that's what I planned to ask her. But I just stood there looking into those eyes. A few seconds later

she broke the silence.

"Please don't tell anyone", she repeated.

"What's going on?", I asked her.

"Its Kris. Ron's partner!"

"What's going on?"

"We are in a relationship"

"And Ron?", the question was mere rhetoric, I didn't give a damn about Ron. I was hurt... broken... shattered. The

person who helped me understand love, was today demeaning it.

She didn't hide anything from me. Never. But for someone to be so open about something so personal! Something just

felt wrong. This couldn't be the Anita I knew.

She turned away, but not before I saw a glimpse of the tears that had welled up in her eyes.

"What about Ron, Anita?", I rephrased the question.

She turned around. The tears were gone, she didn't want me to know.

"Please don't tell anyone", she repeated again, this time looking straight into my eyes.

"On one condition", my pain was now shaping up into anger.


"I want you. Right here, right now", it was her turn to be hurt. She knew what it meant. She knew I understood she

was lying and I was hurt and angry. She knew I was going to cause pain to her even though it will further increase

my pain.

Her eyes went down, to my feet, then hers. She had submitted. But, that is not what I wanted.

She looked around to see if it was safe. It was, I cared for her too much, to do something foolish.

As she undressed, I was looking at her eyes. But she was looking elsewhere. Anywhere, but me. She continued, did

away with my clothing. But was still not looking into my eyes. I sat on the bench, she got on me. Even with the

bodies joined, her eyes were roaming around. Looking at every part of my body, other than my eyes. She was cold,

very cold. Shivering.

Why was she doing this? Why was she causing pain to both of us?

"Look into my eyes", I shouted, unable to control my pain.

She looked into my eyes. The physical movement stopped. It wasn't required now. Tears welled up, rather freely this time, as she finally looked into my eyes.

What she told me in the next few minutes was disheartening. How could love be disgraced like this!

... to be continued

MN0017 :: I want to be the dream that opens your eyes

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Look into my eyes - Part I

There was something so pure about them,  that they could touch anyone's soul. As I looked at those eyes, she noticed me. The smile on her face vanished, and beads of sweat appeared on the forehead. The train doors closed, but those eyes remained fixated at me.

A few seconds had passed, I was still trying to convince myself that what I saw was true, when my phone rang.

"I want to talk to you"

"Be at the City Center in 10 mins, alone", I said.

That was the next station for me. Didn't have to work too hard to get out, the crowd pushed me straight to the center of the platform. That's what the life of an average professional in a metropolis is like.


As I waited for her, my mind went back to the time I first saw her. It was almost 2 years back, my first day at the job. I had felt a sudden push followed by the sound of stuff falling. "Ouch" I turned back. There was this pretty lady collecting papers which had fallen out of a file. As I bent to help her, she apologised. Her gaze turned to me, that was it. Didn't see her for a long time after that.

Two months later, I saw her. Walking towards me with my boss.

"Hi J, this is Anita. She'll be assisting you on the project and will take over when you get your promotion later this year!"

"Hi, I'm Joe, everyone calls me J here!"

"Hi, nice to meet you!"

We exchanged pleasantries, then as we chatted I came to know she went on a leave after finishing her last project, to get married.

About 3 months passed, we had developed a nice friendship. One of these days I saw her talking to her husband on the phone. Could not make out what she was saying. She was looking at a distance, but not looking at anything. She was in a different world, totally engrossed in that conversation. Anyone could make out the love in her eyes.

Since a long time I was wondering what I would want my life partner to be like, that was it. Love, straight from the soul. I just wanted a person who could love me that much.


A few more months passed. Time brought us closer and we became very good friends. I had also become friends with her husband and we met a number of times on weekends for lunch and dinner. Another month or so, and my promotion was made official. I was to take charge of one of the offices in another city. Didn't meet her after that, though we spoke frequently.


"Please don't tell anyone"

I didn't reply. Just moved to the exit of the station, as she followed me. I looked around. It was dusk time. The lights in the city center market had been switched on. I looked around for signs of an area where we could get away from the madding crowd to be able to talk freely. I cared for her too much, to talk about it in public.

I noticed an arrow pointing to a park. Started walking in that direction as she followed me. No words had been exchanged for almost ten minutes now. I guess, this is what trust is about. You just follow the person knowing that it could only be good for you. We reached the park, it was almost empty, only the guard and a couple of people roaming about. We walked to a bench where no one could see or, hopefully, hear us.

"Who was he?"

Wallpaper :: The New Tricolor

The tricolor was meant to be a symbol of unity, but over a period of time it has been misinterpreted to mean something totally different. The present fundamentalist interpretation is that people of one religion represented by Saffron are at the top and people of another represented by Green at the bottom. In the name of peace the two are kept separate and comparisons are drawn (white) and over this is a garb of unity (the chakra in the middle).
TO break this we have the new remodelled Tricolor where the focus is on unity (ashok chakra), the saffron and green stand together around it - in some ways the saffron is on top, in others the green, and there is PEACE in the middle and all around(white).

Wallpaper: 1366 X 768 px

Don't lose your dreams...

"If you do not have a dream you do not have much. Don’t lose your dreams." Source: http://m.mydigitalfc.com/leisure-writing/do-not-lose-sight-your-beloved-dreams-460
"‎8 years ago (May 3rd) with $1000, instead of studying for finals during my freshman year at the University of Texas, I started Dell." - Michael Dell
"Level of my comfort in a role is directly proportional to the damage I cause to the existing way of how things work. Also, add an exponential multiplier for the amount of time such a situation lasts." - M S Ahluwalia


Family isn’t always blood.
It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs;
The ones who accept you for who YOU are.
The ones who would do anything to see you smile;
And who love you no matter what.
"Wo humse khafa hain, hum unse khafa hain, magar baat karne ko jee chahta hai"


Gila hai hamein kabhi tujhe samajh na paaye,
Gila hai jab samjhe to sambhaal na paaye,
Gila hai jab sambhala to chaahne se khudko rok na paaye,
Gila hai jab tu gaya, to bewafaai ko bhula na paaye.
" raat to ab bhi tanha guzarti hai meri jaan, din acche guzarte hain fursat ke bin" - M S Ahluwalia
"I may be on the race track. I may be as fast or faster than those in there. But let me make it very clear - I am not racing." - M S Ahluwalia
in rangon mein wo baat, wo mehak kahaan hai ab,
 zindagi mein kuch ho na ho zindagi kahan hai ab