"Who was he?", that's what I planned to ask her. But I just stood there looking into those eyes. A few seconds later
she broke the silence.
"Please don't tell anyone", she repeated.
"What's going on?", I asked her.
"Its Kris. Ron's partner!"
"What's going on?"
"We are in a relationship"
"And Ron?", the question was mere rhetoric, I didn't give a damn about Ron. I was hurt... broken... shattered. The
person who helped me understand love, was today demeaning it.
She didn't hide anything from me. Never. But for someone to be so open about something so personal! Something just
felt wrong. This couldn't be the Anita I knew.
She turned away, but not before I saw a glimpse of the tears that had welled up in her eyes.
"What about Ron, Anita?", I rephrased the question.
She turned around. The tears were gone, she didn't want me to know.
"Please don't tell anyone", she repeated again, this time looking straight into my eyes.
"On one condition", my pain was now shaping up into anger.
"What?"
"I want you. Right here, right now", it was her turn to be hurt. She knew what it meant. She knew I understood she
was lying and I was hurt and angry. She knew I was going to cause pain to her even though it will further increase
my pain.
Her eyes went down, to my feet, then hers. She had submitted. But, that is not what I wanted.
She looked around to see if it was safe. It was, I cared for her too much, to do something foolish.
As she undressed, I was looking at her eyes. But she was looking elsewhere. Anywhere, but me. She continued, did
away with my clothing. But was still not looking into my eyes. I sat on the bench, she got on me. Even with the
bodies joined, her eyes were roaming around. Looking at every part of my body, other than my eyes. She was cold,
very cold. Shivering.
Why was she doing this? Why was she causing pain to both of us?
"Look into my eyes", I shouted, unable to control my pain.
She looked into my eyes. The physical movement stopped. It wasn't required now. Tears welled up, rather freely this time, as she finally looked into my eyes.
What she told me in the next few minutes was disheartening. How could love be disgraced like this!
... to be continued
she broke the silence.
"Please don't tell anyone", she repeated.
"What's going on?", I asked her.
"Its Kris. Ron's partner!"
"What's going on?"
"We are in a relationship"
"And Ron?", the question was mere rhetoric, I didn't give a damn about Ron. I was hurt... broken... shattered. The
person who helped me understand love, was today demeaning it.
She didn't hide anything from me. Never. But for someone to be so open about something so personal! Something just
felt wrong. This couldn't be the Anita I knew.
She turned away, but not before I saw a glimpse of the tears that had welled up in her eyes.
"What about Ron, Anita?", I rephrased the question.
She turned around. The tears were gone, she didn't want me to know.
"Please don't tell anyone", she repeated again, this time looking straight into my eyes.
"On one condition", my pain was now shaping up into anger.
"What?"
"I want you. Right here, right now", it was her turn to be hurt. She knew what it meant. She knew I understood she
was lying and I was hurt and angry. She knew I was going to cause pain to her even though it will further increase
my pain.
Her eyes went down, to my feet, then hers. She had submitted. But, that is not what I wanted.
She looked around to see if it was safe. It was, I cared for her too much, to do something foolish.
As she undressed, I was looking at her eyes. But she was looking elsewhere. Anywhere, but me. She continued, did
away with my clothing. But was still not looking into my eyes. I sat on the bench, she got on me. Even with the
bodies joined, her eyes were roaming around. Looking at every part of my body, other than my eyes. She was cold,
very cold. Shivering.
Why was she doing this? Why was she causing pain to both of us?
"Look into my eyes", I shouted, unable to control my pain.
She looked into my eyes. The physical movement stopped. It wasn't required now. Tears welled up, rather freely this time, as she finally looked into my eyes.
What she told me in the next few minutes was disheartening. How could love be disgraced like this!
... to be continued
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