Odor of Love


The odor of love,
once existed in our hearts.
Those were the days of the yore,
when in our hearts love we bore.

Filled with lust,
with anger unjust,
read the requiem,
for the undead soul.

To cry, I try,
but my eyes refuse.
The water is finished,
in its muscular tubes.

To smile, I try,
and I succeed as well.
A feeling of happiness,
envelops one's soul,
And I realise,
It's you, it's the odor of love.

Haan magar wahi hai tu,
ab bhi kuch waisa hi,
kuch jaana pehchana sa ajnabi,
aafaat mein bhi muskurata,
chain ki ek ghadi de jata


That is who you are,
still very much the same,
A stranger I know,
Smiling in tough times,
bringing that moment of peace and contentment!

hum akele hain mehfil mein to kya hua,
akele hum se hi to mehfil hai!

Ik anjaana sa khwaab hai,
Ik adhoori si baat hai.
Tera choota hua saath hai,
Tere lehraate aanchal ki yaad hai.


I have an unknown dream,
I have an unsaid thought.
I have the loss of your companionship,
I have the memory of your fluttering scarf.

wo to allah ki shaajish hai roohon ko tadpane ki,
aur log jismon ke milne ko ishq kehte hain!


It is a conspiracy of the God,
to torture the souls.
And people call the meeting of bodies -- Love!

Ab kyun hai?

kuch bechaini si hai,
talab si hai,
kuch kamee si hai,
tanhayee si hai.
bahut kuch hai,
aur kuch nahi bhi hai.

Ekdum se ekaant ka jo ehsaas hua,
ye pehle to na hua tha.

Har khwaab mein tu basa hai,
ye pehle to na tha - ab kyun hai?

je tu na dikheya raati aashaq marjooga,
tere noor vikhe te vasdiyan,
yaadan mere yaar diyaan.


If you are not visible tonight,
this lover would die.
In your light live
the memories of my lover.

A Dream...

Having read 'The Interpretation of Dreams',
I thought I could interpret them all.
But this one's like a puzzle
of a kind that I've not even heard of before.

A dream wandered into my mind yesterday,
It had you, me and the times past by.
But it was the present,
not the past, nor the future.

On the beaches of Mumbai, walking,
like we used to before,
but in a place so far,
from the days of the yore.

Evening it was, after dusk,
but there was so much light,
emanating from you.

The conversations were there,
so was your smile.
Like always,
you never looked into my eyes.

You said everything,
and heard everything.
Never letting even your hand brush by.

But there was a difference..
you were shorter than me,
a good 6 inches if I remember correctly.

And the marks on your hand and arm?
I couldn't see.

Your phone wasn't there,
no mama, no Himpi.

The good times were on,
then you had to go,
and you went,
leaving me alone.

Why didn't I walk you to your home?
Why didn't I give you my phone number?
why didn't I say good bye?

zamaane ko khabar hai hamare us raaz ki,
jise hum muskura ke chupate the

wo gham jis par hum khushi se khushiyaan lutate hain..

jin mein yaad basi hai teri,
aur teri palkon se gire wo cheente,

teri us toot-tii payal ki awaaz
aur teri nayee zindagi ka aagaaz


me: i saw in her eyes,cold, not a sign of life.
She was alive and kicking,to everyone's eyes...
but her eyes,I saw a ghost there....

00:21 @: you there?

00:23 me: yup

00:24 @: that's original?

me: When I copy, i quote the source...
00:25 this is original

@: well, pretty good stuff I must say the inspiration?

00:26 me: am still wondering y i said dat and y to dis specific person?
u got any clues?

00:27 @: ah well, no point stating things explicitly then :)
only I wonder, when do you make your observations?
aise taare zameen par har roz nazar nahi aate,
jo hamaari aankhon ko chundhiyaane par majboor kar dein...
aisi pariyaan zameen par roz nazar nahi aateen...
jo hamein theher kar unhe nazar bhar dekhne par majboor kar dein


Such stars don't land on Earth every day,
which can make my eyes flutter.
Such fairies are not seen on Earth every day,
which can make me stop and watch them an eyeful.
aayine mein khud ko talaashte hain,
par har baar koi ajnabee mil jata jai
uski aankhon mein dekhte hain...
to tera chehra nazar aata hai...


I try to find myself in the mirror,
but meet a stranger.
I look in his eyes,
and find your face there.

August 15th 1963

The sounds are so different
The light is so bright.

Independence day it is
on border's right side.

A thump of the feet I had heard
the day before today
the air brought it to me
from across the gate way

Ahmed it was
along with Shahid, Bashir,
Saif, Faisal and the others

I've known him since ages
since we became independent.
August 15th, 1963 it is today
the day we got freedom

Independent I am
under no foreign soul
Under Nehru the Prime Minister
and our own food bowl.

This country will prosper
become what it was earlier
Sone ki Chidiya
A Golden Bird.
khayal aate hain labon par,
phir hamein khayal aata hai...

baat nikal gayee zamane mein,
toh khayal bepaak na ho jaaye


Thoughts come to my lips,
then I have a thought..

If the secrets be revealed to the world,
they may be desecrated.
d wrld i knw...
paris n rome...
the wrld n ma home...
ma enemies ma frnds...
ma relatives galore...
wat i dnt knw...
is wat is imprtnt mch more...

d thought in my heart...
n d love in ma brain
In the words so mellifluous
I try to hide
The pain in my heart
As I write.
I let the time loose,
I let it dance
It went past me
while I was in a trance.

The problem earlier existed,
it still did,
but I felt nothing,
that was the power of this trance.

Chaiyya Chaiyya

Song: Chhaiya Chhaiya
Film: Dil Se

Musicdirector: A R Rahman
Songwriter: Gulzar
Singer: Sukhvindar Singh, Sapna Awasthi

jinke sar ho ishq ki chhaanv
(those who have all-encompassing shadow of love over their head ( in
this scorching heat of this world's harsh realities) )

paanv ke neeche jannat hogi
(heavens will be below their feet)
(=people who are blessed with someone's love, live their life as if they
have been living in the heaven)

jinke sar ho ishq ki chhaanv

chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
(walk underneath this shadow)

chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan

sar ishq ki chhaanv chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
(your head is covered by the shadow of love, walk underneath this

sar ishq ki chhaanv chal chhaiyaan

paanv jannat chale chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
(you will feel as if your feet are walking on the land of heaven, walk
underneath this shadow)

paanv jannat chale chal chhaiyaan

vo yaar hai jo khushboo ki tarah
(that friend is like a fragrance)

jiski zubaa urdu ki tarah
(she speaks a language which is soft and meaningful like urdu)

meri sham raat meri kaynaat vo yaar mera saiyaa saiyaa
(my evening and night, my entire universe is that friend of mine, my

chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chhaiyaan chhaiyaan

gulposh kabhi itraye kahin
(clad in the flowers, sometime, she is showing off airs of highness,

mehke to nazar aa jaaye kahin
(when those flowers of her dress spread fragrance, i will be able to see
her somewhere)

gulposh kabhi itraye kahin
mehke to nazar aa jaaye kahin

tabeez bana ke pahnoo use
(I will treat her like my talisman and wear)
(tabeez: a sacred black thread with supernaturally processed metal block
or stone having protective powers)

aayat ki tarah mil jaaye kahin
(if i find her somewhere like a divine sentence from holy Quraan-paak)

tabeez bana ke pahnoo use, aayat ki tarah mil jaaye kahin

gulposh kabhi itraye kahin, mehke to nazar aa jaaye kahin
tabeez bana ke pahnoo use, aayat ki tarah mil jaaye kahin

yaar hai vo eemaa ki tarah
(that friend of mine is the sum-total of my integrity)

mera nagma vahi mera qalma vahi
(she is my song, she is (as pious for me as) the sacred chant of qalma)
(qalma = first belief of mohammedans = la ilaha il lillah, mohammed-ur
rasool allah)
(= i take this promise in the name of allah that i do not know anyone
other than one Allah, and that hajrat mohammed is messanger of Allah)

mera nagma nagma mera qalma qalma
(my song, song, my qalma, qalma)

mera nagma nagma mera qalma qalma
mera nagma nagma mera qalma qalma
mera nagma nagma mera qalma qalma

yaar misal-e-os chale
(that friend of mine walks like pure, clear, shining little dew drops)

panvo ke tale firdaus chale
(when she walks, it appears as if she is not moving but heavens are
moving below her feet)

kabhi daal daal kabhi paat paat
(sometime on the branches of trees, sometime on the leaf)

main hawa pe dhoondhoo uske nisha
(i am searching on the air for any clue of her presense)

sar ishq ki chhaanv chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, sar ishq ki chhaanv chal
paanv jannat chale chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, paanv jannat chale chal
chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chhaiyaan chhaiyaan

main uske roop ka shaidaai
(i am attracted to her beauty)

vo dhoop chhaanv sa harjaai
(she is innocent and energetic hence she reaches everywhere to everyone
like the sunlight or the shadow)

vo shokh hai rang badalta hai
(she has a restlessness, hence she transforms her style)

main rang roop ka saudaai
(i am mad after her beauty and her fair color)

main rang roop ka saudaai

jinke sar ho ishq ki chhaanv, paanv ke neeche jannat hogi
jinke sar ho ishq ki chhaanv, paanv ke neeche jannat hogi
sham raat meri kaynaat vo yaar mera saiyaan saiyaa
chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chhaiyaan chhaiyaan

sar ishq ki chhaanv chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, sar ishq ki chhaanv chal
paanv jannat chale chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, paanv jannat chale chal
chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chhaiyaan chhaiyaan

vo yaar hai jo khushboo ki tarah, jiski zubaa urdu ki tarah
meri sham raat meri kaynaat vo yaar mera saiyaan saiyaa
chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan chhaiyaan, chal chhaiyaan chhaiyaan
chhaiyaan chhaiyaan

Bullah, ki jaana main kaun!

Bullah! I don't know who I am.

I am not a believer in the mosque.
Nor a pagan disciple of false rites.
Nor am I the pure amongst the impure.

I am not in the Vedic Texts.
Neither in Opium, nor in wine.
Nor in the drunkard's intoxicated daze.
I am neither in happiness nor in sorrow.

Neither filthy, nor pure.
Not form water, nor from earth.
I am not born of the fire, nor from air.

I am neither Arab, nor Lahori.
Not Indian, nor Nagauri.
I am not Hindu, Turk, nor Peshawari.

I have not found the secret of religion.
Nor am I from Adam and eve.
I am not in this name, which I am known by.

I know myself as the first and the last.
I have never known someone otherwise.
None is wiser than me

Bullah Shah! Do I stand alone?

I am neither Moses, nor Pharoah.
Neither awake, nor in a sleeping daze.
I am not born of the fire, nor from air.
Nor do I live in Nadaun.
I am not still, nor moving.

Bullah Shah! Do I stand alone?

Bullah, ki jaana main kaun!

Kabse ye bashar ik basheer ke intezaar mein hai,

Jo teri koi khabar laade,

iske absaar: raah dekhte hain,

koi tera afsaanah suna de


Since long this human awaits a messenger,

who carries some news of you,

his eyes watch the way,

someone may bring a story of you.

aadmiyat ko aadab karte wo arz karte hain,

meri basr mein chamak lane wale kaafir hain!!!

(That's what the thought process behind CSR seems to be like.)


Saluting humanity they say,

The ones who brought the stars in my eyes are infidels!

AAj be-sabab hum saazon ko chedne lage...

Shayad apni bezaari ko us shor mein chipane lage...


Today wihout any reason I started fiddling with the guitar,

I guess, trying to hide my despleasure in the noise...

ye hamari niyaaz ka hi asar to hai...

jo munhasir baithe manzar ka muaena kar rahe hain...


All this is but an effect of my desire,

That I serenely sit and survey the panorama...

uski wajaahat ki lajawaabi ka aur paimana kya hoga....

jiske asar se hamein apni qaafiriyat ka andaaza na raha

The Memory Remains

"I know a girl with the sweetest smile,
for one glimpse of her I walk a hundred miles,
her pretty eyes make my heart skip a beat,
to match her beauty would be an impossible feat,
she is so near and yet so very far,
her loving memories in my mind even time cannot mar.."

Source: http://anathema19.blogspot.com/

Ek dost se guftagu... 5

I: thi

aur ab

aur aage

me: muhabbat ke baad to tanhayee hi hoti hai

00:54 i: aagaz ka anjaam na jaan paaye toh farmaan jaari kar diya, wah

00:55 arey mohabbat ke baad toh tanhai ko bhi hamse shikayat hoti hai

00:58 me: mohabbet mein tanhayee ka bhi ehsaas nahi hota...
mohabbat ke baad bheed mein bhi tanhayee ka ehsaas hota hai

01:01 i: tumne gul ko gul kaha, hamne gul ko gulab kaha, par hum phir bhi naa samajh paaye ki gulab ko gul kaha ya gul ko gulab kaha

01:03 yahi to lakeer hai mohabbat aur tanhai k beech ki. ki jo mohabbat hai use tanhayi kaha ya tu tanhayi mili use mohabbat kaha.

01:04 me: mohabbat thi isiliye pehle tanhayee na thi...
mohabbat hai isiliye ab tanhayee hai

01:06 i: theek hai.....

01:07 maan gaya

aage kya hua??

me: kuch nahi bas... kuch hum keh na paaye... kuch humne kaha jo wo samajh na paaye

01:08 i: toh isey anjaam samjhe, yah abhi to bas aagaz hua hai

01:09 me: anjaam hi hai... haan zindagi ne aagaaz mein badal diya to baat alag hai

01:11 i: abhi bhi kya hua hai

mohabbat ne toh baar baar katleaam kiya hai, ek aashiq ka katl phir itna aam kaise ho gaya

01:12 me: apni zindagi ka katl kar dein kya... aashiqui hai, deewangi bhi hai... par hum ab bhi hosh mein hain

01:15 i: jo sar pe na chade woh deewangi hi kya, jo hosh na bhula de woh aashiqi hi kya. ya to mohabbat se tauba kar lo ya phir mohabbat ko mauhabbat ka naam na do.

01:16 alright chill

me: :)

kabhi kehte hain unhone jaan leli meri,
poocho unse wo kaun hai to kehte hain zindaa hoon main abhi.

Shayad aise hi chalte jaana hai

zindagi jeene ka jitna man hai,
utna hi use chodne ka

muskurane ka jitna man hai,
utna hi rone ka

zamaane se jitne khafa hain hum,
utna hi use chahte bhi hain

jitna thaamne ki koshish karte hain khud ko,
utna hi chalte jaate bhi hain

zamaane pehle kuch hua tha,
hote gaya tha

kuch aisa rukh liya zindagi ne,
ki zindagi se hi door kar diya

jeetne mein maza aata tha,
ab haarne mein aata hai

mann manchala sa hota hai,
phir sudhar bhi jaata hai

bas chalte jaa rahe hain,
dariya ke bahav mein,
shayad aise hi chalte jana hai :)

MoKu: Saahil ke sukun se hamein inkaar nahi,magar toofano se kashti nikaalne ka mazaa hi aur hai!!

Me: saahil ka sukoon kuch waqt ko hai...
kyunki jise wo saahil samajh rahe hain....
darasal wo bas ek bada jahaaz hai...
to chinta na kar e insaan, maza zindagi mein abhi aur bahut hai...

gamon mein muskura ke samajhte hain wo...
ki aankhen unki koi padh nahi raha...
unhe kya pata ki unka raaz ab raaz nahi raha...
kyunki koi baitha unki aakhon mein jhaank raha hai

(in response to:

Baat dil ki bata dena aadat hai meri,
Bus yun hi muskra dena aadat hai meri,
Log samajtey hai mujhe koi gum nahi,
Kyunki har gum me muskra dena aadat hai meri .)

khamoshi se khafa hain...
ki tanhayee mein tanhaa chod gayee hai hamein...

Steve Jobs on Life...

One of the best speeches amonsgst the ones that I've read...

Stanford Report, June 14, 2005
"'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says
This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much."

i've given up...

There's a face that I can see...
that i can see in every face...
there's a smile that I can see...
that I can see in every smile...
just that it's presence is not tangible

Lost in the mist...
Trying to figure my way out...

I gave up, sat down...
closed my eyes...
I could see you, that day, that smile
that shoe lace...

It's all still there...
exactly as it was...
you're missing...
and your smile...
and the peace inside me.

As I entered the mist...
I thought, it will help me get lost...
and trying to find my way out...
will help me forget, forget it all...

but that didn't happen...
even as I'm trying to find my way out...
you're with me...
my heart, my mind everything's with you...

and so I gave up...
gave up trying to forget you...
and forget it all

kal unki mehfil saji thi...
nyota hamein bhi tha...
jaane ka dil to tha...
par dimaag kahin aur hi tha...

na tabiyat ka saath...
na padhai kari hai kuch khaas...
bas dil kiya to isi baat par kuch panktiyaan likh daaleen...
maana hai nahi kuch khaas....

(not well, so had to miss my flattie's birthday party y'strdy)

When your heart is bleeding
and your brain is dead...
and all you want is to see some red...
kill yourself before you kill someone else...

...to all those people who are mindlessly rioting to avenge the death of or harm to a close-one.